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I don't go to clubs! Same on Tinder. It's just polite—and a nice way to find out if somebody has crazy eyes or adult braces.

It's so easy as to be ridiculous. Just talk to her for discredt little bit to establish 1 her interest and 2 the fact that you're fun and safe.

Ask what she's doing, how her night was, what she did, what she might Want to chill with discreet dude doing later. What you shouldn't ask: If she "likes them big. Look, it's possible there's a woman who's on Tinder solely to provide strangers with free amateur porn. It's also possible for a snake to crawl up your toilet and bite your balls. We're talking snake-ball-biting odds of you getting laid when you ask these questions so fast.

It's transparent and lazy, and makes us assume you're not someone who is concerned about stuff like consent or whether the other person actually enjoys sex.

In fact, that shotgun-blast sex-questionnaire is a pretty good indicator that you're one of those guys who blindly jabs away at our female parts like a little brother annoying his big brother on a family road trip. On Tinder, make polite and casual conversation, then wait for cues on her end that this is a Want to chill with discreet dude hookup situation. If she's into it, she'll probably try to give you the green light in a way that won't leave you wondering.

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If she's really up for getting together—or even just dirty phone stuff—she will indicate this. I know.

It's so damn hard to find the idscreet dragon of enthusiastic consent and availability. What you guys have to go through when not getting head or being senators is truly terrible.

If she gives the incontrovertible thumbs-up, suggest something like vaguely cordial meeting for a drink.

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A drink! Want to chill with discreet dude a handy or boudoir shots or anything like that. If she doesn't want a drink and just wants to get straight to roleplaying "Foxcatcher" on wihh futon, she will say as much! Just chill the hell out and know that the hotchee-motchee stuff will come later, assuming you don't blow it with your personality. The art of touchy flirting without being obvious ].

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Friends compliment each other, yes. The conversation revolves around just the two of you.

Unknowingly, the conversation just revolves cjill the both of you trying to get to know each other, intimate details and all. Sure signs both of you are already more than just friends ].

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Your friend apologizes for the silliest of things. Are both of you going dutch and splitting the bill, or is one person paying for it?

They just laugh, wave goodbye and walk away. Liked what you just read?

E-mail to: Your Name: Your Email: Personalized Message: When is a date really a date, and when is it just hanging dudd Use this guide to understand it and make the together time work in your favor.

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Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. By Cheryl James. Share Tweet Pin It.

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When is a date not a date? And when is hanging out more than just hanging out?

The right way to talk to a crush and make them fall for you ] What are your intentions? How to stay just friends when your friend wants more ] [Read: The dating girl code Want to chill with discreet dude girls definitely need to know ] 3 Dressed up and cleaned up.

The art of touchy flirting without being obvious ] 8 Compliments. Sure signs both of you are already more than just friends ] 10 Apologies.